Has a painting ever taken your breath away? Has a work of art ever moved you so much that you were rendered speechless? This is how I feel whenever I see the work of my friend, Antonio Scott Nichols. It is hard to articulate what makes his work so stunning. The faces and bodies he paints feel thrillingly alive, as if they could leap off the canvas at any minute. He is able to capture expressions, mannerisms, and energies with such gorgeous detail, that the only logical response to seeing his work is to cry tears of awe. His work is vibrant, transfixing, and profoundly emotional.
I met Antonio many years ago in college and also lived with him after school. While I could take this time to completely roast him, I wanted to instead tell you why I think he is such a force. Perhaps the most remarkable thing about Antonio is that his creative gifts are matched by his incredible loyalty and generosity as a friend. Antonio is an electrifying presence in all of his loved ones’ lives. He brings boundless energy, ridiculous humor, and deep love to every space he enters.
In our year living together in the city, Antonio and I had many adventures. We dealt with crooked landlords, underwhelming apartments, and disgusting takeout. We explored the city, watched amazing movies, talked about our insecurities, and shared the things that most inspire us as artists. And we watched each other grow and enter new chapters in our respective lives. And we also cussed each other out constantly but I can’t print that shit here.
Recently, I sat down with Antonio to have a conversation about his work. I was really interested in documenting this moment in his life and I hope to document many more. I left our conversation feeling so inspired and energized for the future. At this present moment, Antonio is in a really exhilarating liminal space. He is an artist at the beginning of his career who is just starting to process the major impact he will have. He has already given us his first major work (his extraordinary 2019 senior project, “Thanks to You, I’m Alive”) and is planning future projects. In our conversation, we talked about everything from his artistry to his personal goals to the role love plays in his life. This is Part One of that conversation. I hope you enjoy. And you can check out his work here.
Hey Tonio.
Hello Brother!
Thank you so much for doing this, bro.
Of course. Excited to have this conversation.
So am I. I wanted to start by asking you how you’re doing in general these days? How has it been living, working, and painting through this pandemic?
It’s been quite an adjustment for me, bro. Not just because of the pandemic, but also because I’m still adjusting to adulthood as a recent graduate. It’s been interesting coming off of college where I had my own studio and was able to get help from my advisors and art teachers. I got very used to that. To be suddenly thrown into the real world where you don’t have those resources has been crazy. It has taken time to figure out how I am going to paint consistently. I had to ask myself big questions. How am I going to find the physical time to paint as well as the mental and emotional energy to paint? And also how I am going to find the want to paint? At first, it was exceptionally difficult.
Luckily, I think I felt that difficulty more in the beginning than I do now. And when I think about what this pandemic has done, I think it’s less about what the pandemic has done to my painting, and more about what the pandemic has done to my life and my mindset. Especially now that I have the extra time and am just home with my paintings. Now the questions are different. Where do I find the time in my brain to paint? Where do I find the energy to do so? Now, it’s no longer just about the adjusting. I guess it’s been hard but not necessarily because of what’s been going on.
That makes a lot of sense. What do you have to do to get into the mindset to paint? And where is that mindset now?
You know me, Rishi. I paint people that I love. That was my mindset after my senior project. But I recently had a conversation with a good friend of mine. And she was talking to me about who I am. And she was saying, “Antonio, you’ve tied yourself to your friends and your family so much so that you’ve internalized them. You’ve made yourself the glue to all these groups that you’re apart of and you internalized all of them a little bit too much. Who are you outside of your family, friends and loved ones?” Everything she said really resonated with me.
Before, my mindset was,”How I can portray the people I love?” But now I’m trying to figure out who I am outside of those people. So I am trying to use certain mediums to figure out who I am, outside of my respective groups. So my mindset right now is centered around painting myself. And I’m focused on figuring out who I am. So I’ve started painting self-portraits. The piece I am working on right now is my first self-portrait, but its not gonna be my last one. I’m not gonna paint anyone else for a while. I think my mindset right now is all about figuring out who I am.
That’s so huge, bro. It’s so interesting because when I think of you, I immediately think of how good you are at bringing people together and how much you love your friends. And I also think about the amount of joy you derive from seeing your loved ones soar. As beautiful and important as that is, it’s so wonderful that you’re beginning to look inward. It reminds me of how you used to say to me that you see yourself as a supporting character.
Yes, bro! Exactly.
I’m really glad you’re now working to see yourself as a leading character! And I’m so glad you’re exploring that through your work. How does this shape how you feel about your art at the moment?
I will say I’m a little unsatisfied at the moment. I say that because I was on a very, very long hiatus. And I tend to do that as an artist. Throughout my life, I have taken very long breaks. Sometimes the breaks have been as long as a year. And I think I’m in a learning and growing phase with my art now. I’m trying to figure out who I am as an artist and what my impact will be in the art world. And that’s why I’m really enjoying painting myself right now. Like the painting I’m currently working on has things in it that I haven’t told most of my friends. And I’m not gonna tell them because they’re very small details. I’m including very, very intimate parts of my life through this medium that I love so much. I think I am really just trying to get back into it. I’m unsatisfied but I’m also ultimately satisfied with the direction I’m going in.
As you should be! Is it daunting sharing intimate details from your life through your work?
Most definitely! Just like it would be for anybody. We all have specific, unique things about ourselves. I think every human does.We all have things we want to keep to ourselves, no matter how big or small. You might have a couple of people who know about specific things that have happened to you but you don’t necessarily want to show those things to the whole world. I wanna show those things more through my paintings because I’m not very good at talking about them. I’m not really good at communicating those details. It’s easier for me to do it visually. That is my best way of showing anything. Whether it’s showing how much I care about a person, or how much I value them, or how much I care about and value myself, as I’m doing right now. The same goes for deciding what I am going to share about myself.
It’s so wonderful that art can facilitate that communication and make sharing easier. Along those lines, I want to go back to the beginning. When did you first fall in love with art?
As early as when I was 5 years old, man. I would draw but I wouldn’t just draw things I would see. I would also draw things I would imagine. And I always tell people who think they’re not good at art that that’s probably not true. It’s probably just that they stopped drawing when they were a kid. I think all of us would draw when we were kids but then many of us abandoned it. And I think I just kept drawing. I felt like that was an outlet for my imagination and my creativity. And living the life that I lived and coming from where I came from, it was so important to have. Being a kid from the hood, you needed to have an outlet. We all had our different outlets and art was mine.
It makes me think about how I used to love to draw until I was shamed by a teacher. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to try drawing again just for myself.
You should try!
I definitely will. You mentioned your childhood in Atlanta and I was wondering what role place plays in your work?
I’ve always been the type of person who ties the memories of a place to the people who were in that place. So when I think about my senior project, I did portraits of my friends, family, and my partner. And each portrait had different settings. With the portraits of my friends, the settings weren’t specific. And I think that’s because my friends live in my subconscious. I don’t necessarily tie to them to a place. They are just my friends. There was nothing necessarily attached to that. And then with my family, there was a specific setting. My mom and niece were both in my mom’s bedroom. My brother was in his apartment on his couch. I tied them to a setting because when I think of them, I think of home. But I don’t think of Atlanta and then think of them. I think of them and then I think of Atlanta. And then with my partner, I put her in a semi-specific setting and that’s because the relationship we built started at that location. It started in that college setting. So it was this mesh of many things. It’s interesting how she lives both in my subconscious and in a place.
As you talk, it’s amazing to hear the ways in which your life informs you art, as well as the ways your art reveals things about your life.
Absolutely. I learn a lot from it.
And it leads really naturally into my next question. Before, you had mentioned that you are working on figuring out who you are. If I were to ask you that question in this moment, how would you answer it?
I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately about where I am mentally. Recently, I’ve been sitting around a lot and feeling nostalgic. I think the reason I’ve been feeling nostalgic is because I’m at this time in my life where I feel like I’m in this vestibule between graduating from college and figuring out what impact I’m gonna have on the world. And I think I am trying to figure what that impact will be. And I think a lot about what my thirties will look like. When people think about their thirties, they see it as a time when you’re supposed to have your life together. And college is a time when you’re supposed to grow. So right now I feel like I am in between that period of growth and a period where I am supposed to have my life together. In this moment, I am feeling very nostalgic because I’m enjoying looking back on the things I’ve learned while also looking forward to the things I am going to do in my future. And in answering the question,” Who am I?” I don’t know, man. All I can think of is my name is Antonio. I’m a friend. I’m a son. I’m a brother. And I’m a painter. And I’m trying to figure it out. And that’s all I know right now.
And that’s a beautiful place to start. You have to know those things fully before you can move forward. As you keep looking forward and envisioning what your future is gonna look like, how do you balance that with staying present?
That’s huge, bro. Yeah, I think during the pandemic, you can’t do anything but live day to day. And try to enjoy the day to day. So I am just trying to soak in everything I can. I wanna keep finding joy and learning things on a daily basis. And then go from there.
In Part 2 of our conversation, I will talk to Antonio about his college experience, his senior project, his future work, and the role love plays in his life.
You can support Antonio’s work by visiting his website or by following him on Instagram.